Sometimes things just make sense, right?
Aug0
So. Without going into the long, ridiculous details of the last year of my life, I will say that last summer, I was turning around the idea of going back to school.
See, I graduated back in 2007, with a degree in Hospitality Management, and yes, it has proven as useless as it sounds. School, for me, was not an awesome time. I was bored, I wanted to quit half the time, and I just wanted to get a job in a ritzy hotel and work my way up, like I’d always expected to do. That was my plan, but my parents wanted me to stay in school and graduate, so I did.
I’m terrified of entering a graduate program, to be completely honest, but last year, I was thinking of going back to pursue a second undergraduate degree in Journalism, of all things. I turned around the idea in my head a few thousand times and eventually just forgot about it. I assume I just wasn’t ready for it. Until now.
When I told my friends and family of my plans, the general concensus was a nod of the head and an: “Oh, I always wondered why you didn’t do that to begin with.”
Well hey, guys, thanks for telling me that now!
It makes me laugh. I’ve been writing practically my whole life. If I wasn’t writing stories, I was writing for a ‘zine. If I wasn’t doing that, I was blogging. If I wasn’t blogging, I was writing secret ~*~*looooove poetry~*~*. There was always a pen in my hand and a notebook in front of me. All of my friends as a kid were artists. To this day, I can’t draw a stick figure who doesn’t look severely deformed in some way, and even my coloring books are pretty pre-school. Writing was just more natural for me.
Then, in college, I just kinda ran out of time for writing. I was crunching numbers; I was trying to figure out budgets; I was reading restaurant industry journals; I was working as much as humanly possible to keep my mind off of the fact that I was taking a ton of classes that I didn’t really care about. My grades weren’t great but they were enough. It’s kind of hilarious — if you look at my transcripts, my grades in nearly everything besides Hospitality and Math classes were really good. My grades in nearly all of my HM classes, though? Painfully average. Looking back on it, that should have been a red flag. Alas.
In any case, I just applied on Thursday for the Spring ‘10 semester at my alma mater, and I’m actually ridiculously excited and nervous about it. The time wasn’t right before, but I think it’s perfect now. I’m 25 and a little bit intimidated about possibly being one of the older people in the program, but a little intimidation has never stopped me before.
I still love Hospitality a lot, but if it was meant to be where I’d have my career, it would have already happened by now. Enough doors slam in your face and you start to take a hint.
So, I’ve never even been to a wedding before.
Aug0
When I was, like, twelve, I got invited to a reception for my mom’s best friend’s daughter whom I’d never met. It was awkward. I was awkward. I didn’t know anybody, there were tons of old people, I wore an old black dress belonging to my MOM, and it was overall a really uncomfortable experience. I mean, the chicken dance, guys? Really?
Other than that, I’ve never been to a wedding or a reception. My friends and I? Not so much the marrying type, you see. My cousins? Forget it, they’re all a bunch of loveless losers just like me. Weddings just don’t really happen in my circle. I don’t question it, I just accept.
That said, my very best friend just recently announced her engagement. Holy moly! Where did that even come from? I have no idea. In any case, we’ve been talking recently about getting married on a budget. In this economy, going to the bathroom needs to be on a budget, it seems.
To cut down the gargantuan costs of having a wedding, my best friend decided that the whole bridesmaid thing is overrated. I can’t say I’m not relieved. When I asked her why, she said that nearly all of the girls she was going to ask to be part of the wedding party are woefully unemployed, just like me. Well, it’s encouraging to know I’m not alone? Haha. But trust me, it feels great to know I won’t have to spend tons of cash on a dress I’ll never wear again, and I pretty much just have to be supportive, be cute, and show up.
My friend also asked me to help her with wedding shower. I know literally nothing about wedding showers or their invites, but I was happy to help! I found this great website for wedding shower invitations, called 123print.com, and they have tons of cute designs for all the budget brides who are getting married within the next year or so. They’re also really easily customized, which is great since getting customized invitations can usually be such an expense when planning a wedding.
Here are some of my favorites:
This one is really simple but has a wild edge to it. It would be perfect for a shower invite. So cute!
This one is also really simple and understated, which is a very elegant look.
This one is a little bit similar to the one above, but it's a lot girlier, which a groom might be a little uncertain about. But it's still a cute design.
This one is totally my favorite. I love the colors on it, and the dress and tuxedo are so elegant but unique. Love it!
So, yeah. Definitely check out the link above. They have designs for all number of occasions and they’re fun to browse and play with, especially if you’re a budget bride. Enjoy!
Why I’m IN LOVE with my Home Alarm.
Aug0
Hi, innernet. Let’s talk. I’d like to introduce you to a friend of mine. A ferocious little friend of mine named Moses.
Sup, Moses? How you doin'?
Now, now, I know what you’re thinking: How can Celisse live with that intimidatingly ferocious creature? Well, fear not, cos while he may look like he could take down even Chuck Norris with his razor-sharp teeth and antlers of steel, but let me tell you, he is a pint-sized puddle of drool and wuss.
There are many reasons that I love my 4 dogs, Moses included, but them keeping me safe is totally not one of those reasons. My dogs may be many, but they are all a bunch of wimps, love them as I may.
So, recently, one of my neighbors’ houses was robbed — in broad daylight, no less! It shook up the whole block, to be honest. A lot of us have dogs, but trust me, I’ve seen my neighbors dogs. They are not scary. A lot of us started looking into home security systems, and my house in particular was hooked up with an ADT system way before we moved in, so we decided to look them up to talk about re-installing the system to keep us safe.
The Google pointed us to this great website with helpful information about home alarms. We went with the Basic Monitoring package, which, for about $35/month, makes sure no one breaks into our home and will alert ADT and the police if ever there’s a break-in.
Trust me, guys, a worthy investment. Moses may be an ankle biting little nutcase, but an important security tool, he is not. Now with our home alarm, I worry less about my stuff when I’m out of the house, and I know that no one’s gonna hurt my little zoo. Awww.
Best of Time for Father’s Day!
Jun0
Father’s day is just around the corner, and if your dad is anything like Cheech, then you probably have no idea what to get him this year (or any year). Usually I settle upon taking him to a nice dinner, but back when I was rollin’ in the dough, I always wanted to get him a nice watch, since the ones he wears are kinda… old and ugly. Anyway, ANY gift is better than the dumb wallet I got him last year. What a catastrophe.
Luckily this year Best of Time has come to the rescue. They offer genuine Rolex watches at huuuuge discount prices, AND for today only, they’re having an amazing Father’s Day sale where you get $1,000 off instantly on any of their luxury time pieces.
Which one do you think is better for Cheech:
Men's Rolex Date -- Just SS Diamonds and White Gold
I looove the blue face on that one, but it might be a little too flashy for my dad, who is a bit boring when it comes to his accessories. LESS IS MORE, and all that.
Men's Rolex Date -- Just Black Dial Two Tone Oyster
This one might be a little bit more my dad’s style. He likes yellow gold accessories (even though I think they’re a little bit… CHONGA), and the stainless steel sets off the yellow enough so that it still looks classy and elegant, just like good ole Cheech.
Anyway, take a few minutes to check out their line at www.bestoftime.com, then come back here and tell me which watch is your favorite.
Happy Father’s Day, guys!
Your Daily Dose of Whimsy!
May0
Okay less daily and more… sporadic. Today your whimsy comes from Specialist Zachery Boyd, fighting the good fight in pink boxers and black flip flops.
From Yahoo News:
Soldiers from the U.S. Army First Battalion, 26th Infantry take defensive positions at firebase Restrepo after receiving fire from Taliban positions in the Korengal Valley of Afghanistan’s Kunar Province on Monday May 11, 2009. Spc. Zachery Boyd of Fort Worth, TX, far left was wearing ‘I love NY’ boxer shorts after rushing from his sleeping quarters to join his fellow platoon members. From far right is Spc. Cecil Montgomery of Many, LA and Jordan Custer of Spokan, WA, center.
When you’re fighting terrorists, the best way to slap ‘em in the face is clearly by wearing pink I Love NY boxers. Boyd and his platoon members rushed from their sleeping quarters after their unit came under fire from the opposition. Wakes you up better than coffee, I’ll bet!
After finding out that the photo had made it onto the front page of the NY Times, Boyd was worried that he’d lose his job if President Obama saw him fighting out of his uniform. US Defense Secretary Robert Gates has commented that Boyd’s job is safe, and that he wants to meet the soldier and shake his hand.”
Any soldier who goes into battle against the Taliban in pink boxers and flip-flops has a special kind of courage,” Gates said in remarks prepared for a speech in New York.
I can appreciate anyone who knows how to dress comfortably under stress. Good going, Zachery!
On Commercials and Cabbies
May0
I’ve never had a cabbie quite this awesome. Heinekin LIES.
***WEEOO WEEOO CHINA STORY ALERT!!!***
The best cabbie I ever had babbled at me for 15 minutes in Mandarin, even though clearly I didn’t understand a single word he said. He shoved his card in my face, implying I should call him anytime I needed to get around the city.
That card saved my life, because about 20 minutes after he dropped me off at my hotel, I realized I’d left my backpack with all of my IDs and my American money in the back of his cab. HOLY CRAP.
I ran down to the lobby and nearly shouted at the first Front Desk Agent I saw to call his number on the card he gave me. She could barely speak English either, but she understood enough to know I was FREAKING OUT. She said he’d be back in like 10 minutes and I should go wait outside. I nearly jumped over the desk and hugged her out of appreciation.
10 minutes exactly, there was my cabbie. He jumped out of the car and grabbed my bag, and indicated that I should check to make sure everything was still in it. Everything WAS still in it, and I practically cried with how wonderful this guy was.
BEST CABBIE EVER, but he didn’t sing me Biz Markie.
Twenty-five? Really?
May1
So, it’s my birthday. I have nothing planned. IT’S A LONG STORY, OKAY? I think I’m gonna see Star Trek with my mom and my dad is taking us to dinner afterwards. PLEASE, CHEECH, GIVE ME SUSHI. I HAVE NOT HAD SUSHI IN SO LONG.
This is what my life has become. Hanging out with my parents because I basically cut off every friend I ever had out of sheer embarrassment from not having a job for so long. Wonderful.
Anyhow, I got the cutest little birthday box in the mail from my bff -j. on GTI, and I wanna show it off, because he is always so creative and hilarious, and I basically died laughing when I opened it up.
Inside was:
- a printed SEXY MORMON MENZ CALENDAR card thingie.
- A DEGRASSI CARD WTF. Notice Marco’s WE <3 PHRO hoodie, and my face pasted over STUPID ASHLEY. omg.
- C E L I S S E Birthday candles. Apparently they ran out of L’s and E’s, so -j. got B’s and chopped them apart and melted them back together, LOLOLLLLL.
- A TURTLE. A FREAKIN TURTLE!!!
It’s so sweet. I love my GTI friends when they are not totally making me want to vomit on them out of anger. <3.
Also, my iPhone is so greasy what the hell!
Thank you, -j. 
You’re the best!
May0
I’m aware I’m pretty much in the minority on this one, but I love the everloving crap out of this movie. I have a thing for ensemble casts (Anthony Hopkins! Nick Cannon! Joshua Jackson!) and period pieces and historical events, so combine the three and you have my dream movie.
Also, the scene with Shia LeBeouf and Ashton Kutcher just demolished on LSD is hilarious.
My favorite scene is the bit in the kitchen, where Laurence Fishburne is talkin’ about his cobbler to the Mexican dude:
“See, the first few times I tried to make this dessert, I couldn’t get it right. Too much sugar one time, not enough sugar the next time — couldn’t find the balance. I realized I was forcing it. I was trying to make it taste like my Mama’s or her Mama’s. Mine didn’t have any poetry, didn’t have any light.
And then I realized I was trying to force it to taste like my mother’s, taste like her mother’s. See, it had to be Edward’s creation. It had to come from me.
Now you, Miguel. You’ve got shit to offer. You have no poetry, you have no light.
You’ve got no one looking at you and saying, ‘Damn, look at that Miguel. I want some of what he’s got.’ All you got is your anger.”
Friends, toilets, rain, and beer.
May1
[Cross posted to my Tumblr. I thought it could be relevant to my ACTUAL SITE. Go fig.]
Laurishly posting about her visit to the Toilet Seat Museum with Mermaidofthesoil made me laaaaugh, cos it remindedme of this crazy little place on Hollywood Beach called The Le Tub Saloon.
South Florida Tumblrs — have any of you been to this place?
It’s genuinely hilarious. As a South Florida native and as someone who used to work on Hollywood Beach and has thus driven up and down that strip of land huuuuundreds of times, I can attest to the fact that it’s easy to miss this place. It’s on A1A, facing the intercoastal, and hidden by tons of lush greenery. It’s easy to spot once you know it’s there, but yeah, it’s a HIDDEN JEWEL, that one.
So, my best friend Karla and I got invited by our friend Martie to her boyfriend’s friend’s birthday party at Taverna Opa on Hollywood one night. I don’t remember the exact details, but after waiting around for, seriously, over an hour (we saw that effing conga line circle the building at least seven times), for some reason we were denied entry — as is just par for course when I go out with Karla.
Dejected, grumpy, and hungry, Karla is like, “Well, we can go to Le Tub, it’s just a couple blocks up.” And off we went.
This place, man. It’s a friggen gem. It appeals completely to Karla’s and my sense of humor. There are tubs, sinks, and toilets scattered throughout this place. It is completely outdoors. When we got there, there were probably 5 people total enjoying the effing place, completely deserted, and really, really dark.
So we sat ourselves at a big picnic table overlooking the intercoastal: Myself, Martie, her boyf, Karla, and her boyf at the time. I’m constantly a fifth wheel — whatever.
The server brings over some menus. They are hand printed. Haaaaaaand Priiiinted, on Xerox paper, with drawings scribbled on ‘em. She then begins to list off all the items they don’t have available — which turns out to be most of the menu. Fabulous.
We ordered many rounds of beers and, like, french fries. We sat around and shrugged and giggled that this was a night that would only happen to us.
Then, it started to rain.
I mean, it couldn’t have been more perfect. Past midnight, sitting in the dark, surrounded by toilets, eating french fries and a lot of beer. In the rain.
To top it all off, they don’t take credit cards there, and I was the only homie with cash. The boys had to take turns walking to the nearest ATM (the one on premesis was busted, no joke), and I am almost positive that we all overpaid because attempting to split a check by cellphone light is pretty impossible.
So yes. Only on Hollywood Beach, basically. I give this place an A+++++ WILL DINE AGAIN (in bizarroland, maybe). But if you’re up for hilarious adventures, it’s definitely for you. Apparently they’ve got the best burger in America, or something. I wouldn’t know.
[Also, I don't know what would possess someone to take a picture with their crying newborn under a toilet seat scrawled with the words "Le Tub Dumb Ass Club Newest Member," but damn if Flickr doesn't show me the most wonderful things.]
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